Ongoing With The Goings On

Thinking About Burnout

The past few times I’ve hit up my brother, he’s mentioned how I seem so burned out, something he’s felt plenty of times himself. Usually he’ll say this as I’m telling him what I’ve been up to between my long spaced out pauses. To me, and a lot of people like myself, it feels as though things are moving ceaselessly and with a pace that feels as if you are unable to control it—that the world is moving and you’re just trying to keep going, to keep up with whatever is happening around you. Almost like a marathon who’s finish line keeps on feeling as though it’s extending further and further out. 

This doesn’t mean that life is not enjoyable, or full of moments that make the day’s chaos worth it in one way or another, it just means cups are too full—of thoughts, obligations, goals, or expectations. What it really means is that you don’t have enough time to smell the flowers, or enjoy the sun, or any other clause that means you don’t have time to chill out. 

The reasons are varied for any of us experiencing burnout. It could be the stress of making ends meet, of meeting other obligations of ourselves, or sticking with the plans you say you’ll do in the past even if you really don’t want to do it in the present. These, and the various other reasons for burnout (like an anxiety of social collapse or backsliding, or just a general confusion on what the fuck AI means besides field days for everyone in the media) ultimately come from our culture which expects us to move forward, to progress without ever considering the reasons why we are doing it. That, coupled with our economic system that makes attaining sustainable income so increasingly difficult, makes it so we feel the need to constantly be doing in order to both feel as though we have a sense of purpose in our life, and have enough to keep on living with a roof over our heads. Embedded in these reasons is also a greater denial of ourselves and our needs from the day to day.

Even right now, I’m laying in bed, the sun is bright outside, my roommate and their friend are sitting there in the sun enjoying a glass of wine, and I feel the need to post this newsletter, to keep up with my personal obligation of writing something, however long or small, each week. There is a greater personal purpose for this newsletter, one that gives me great satisfaction in my life, however it is not without its struggles. Sitting or laying down to write this after a day of work will always be something I have to push myself to do. This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy it, like many people might say with a similar sort of work or social burnout as myself, but only that too much is simply that: too much.

The answer it seems would be something simple: do some yoga, take a nap, go for a walk, talk to someone, or cancel those plans. However, as Anne Helen Petersen wrote in her 2019 article on millennials and burnout, “The most common prescription [for burnout] is ‘self-care.’ Give yourself a face mask! Go to yoga! Use your meditation app! But much of self-care isn’t care at all: It’s an $11 billion industry  whose end goal isn’t to alleviate the burnout cycle, but to provide further means of self-optimization. At least in its contemporary, commodified iteration, self-care isn’t a solution; it’s exhausting.”

And that, to an extent, seems to be true. We’ve even commoditized and made productive those things that should be seen as completely removed from our work and our strange notions of “optimizing our lives.”

So, what should we do if we feel burned out? What should I do for myself? I’m not sure, except to do what you want, whenever that is at all possible. That might be playing into the individualizing of our world in some way, but we oughta love and care for ourselves before we do anything for anyone else. But who knows if you should listen to me. I’m working on this newsletter when I would rather be napping. Because of that, I might be the worst person to suggest something. But, I do know for certain that, tomorrow, afterwork, I’m going to lay down, take a nap and plan a time to go visit my brother and surf for a weekend in an attempt to turn off this brain of mine that never wants to stop its ticking. That seems the best way of slowing down for me. Maybe afterwards my brother won’t need to remind me of my burnout

As for you, I can’t be certain what you need. This newsletter is not for advice anyway.

But if you need a place to start, you might as well listen to this banger ;)